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About Me Member Deviously Deviant RayenRylen15/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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I wonder

Tue Oct 9, 2007, 8:04 PM
Some days I lay awake and wonder would anyone care if I wasn't there. If I wasn't there to hang around with my friends. If I wasn't there to walk to class with. I've been walking a few steps behind recently and I wonder If anyone notices. To me it seems that nobody noties that I get lost in the crowds alone and sad. Just wondering where my friends are. Wondering if they notice that I'm not with them anymore. I just feel lonely and confused lost in my wonderment. I jsut want to know that someone notices that I was left behind, that i was lost in the crowd, that they hear my cry for them to wait up for me.

  • Mood: Isolated
  • Listening to: It only Hurts when you Cry

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Devious Info

  • Interests: Kajukenbo and Anime
  • Favourite movie: Stay Alive
  • Favourite band or musician: Tobey Keith
  • Favourite genre of music: Country
  • MP3 player of choice: ipod mini
  • Shell of choice: Conch
  • Favourite cartoon character: Kisa Sohma
  • Personal Quote: "Have fun as long as you don't die in the process."

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Comments


:iconcaptshoyuki:
hehe im here and you shall die. jk. how are you? well see you at school
:iconkoyet:
Hey. You havent been on in a while. Please write more.
PLEASE!!!!

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~*~Koyet~*~
:iconharukimomo:
Hi Momiji!! Just wanted to let you know that i put something in my gallery. Comment please.

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~~HarukiMomo~~

"Life is a gift, that is why it is called the present."
~Unknown
:iconharukimomo:
Hi! Just wanted to say hi....I don't even know if you know me though. *tear tear*
:iconrayenrylen:
Haruuu-Chan!!!

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"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories." -George Eliot
:iconrayenrylen:
Hi People it's me. Just wanted to say that if you want to read the better versions of my deviations look through my journal. I LIKE MY NEWEST TWO ENTRIES! YAY now I'm tired sooo yeah bye bye!

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"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories." -George Eliot
:iconkoyet:
I have been reading your story and there are a couple of things that i would like to comment on. First of all, you need to reread everything before you submit it because it has a lot of grammar errors. Also, you are very repetitive. Like in the chapter called "I Like You" it says "...but she did not want to go. She wanted to stay there a little longer." Or in the chapter called "Welcome to Ari's" you wrote "She wondered why he had helped her the previous night. Wondering why he would help the stranger." Another thing that you need to improve on is past and present tense. Sometimes you use one and then the other. It is kind of confusing. Finally, if you look in published books you will see that every time that a new character speaks, there is a new paragraph. You might want to concider doing this since it is hard to understand which character is speacking at times. Otherwise I think that it is pretty good. If i have any more comments, you will know.
Koyet
:iconrayenrylen:
Emi!!!

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"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories." -George Eliot
"You can put a leash on me if you want, Watanabe-san... but do you
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